There’s a reason why career diplomats are so careful with their language. It’s really easy to say stupid things and piss off other nations, even if one’s intentions are good. This bit of friendly, down home, unintended nationalism is cringe worthy:

Gov. Terry Branstad says this week’s visit by a top Chinese leader to Iowa will encourage reforms of China’s political system as images of the trip are beamed back home.

Speaking at his weekly news conference Monday, the governor speculated that the visit by Vice President Xi Jinping will get enormous media coverage in China. Branstad says as Chinese learn more about freedoms in the United States, they will seek similar rights.

Cut his mic! Quick!

Sweet buttered niblets! That sort of condescension rivals the Qian Long emperor.

Yes, governor. All those images of happy farmers in Iowa will no doubt spur political action here in China. Perhaps the next time I’m at the mall across the street, I should ask some of the kids at Starbucks, who may have seen clips of the news coverage of Xi’s visit to Iowa streaming on their iPads, what they think of the rural utopia that is Iowa. Corntastic!

I’ve actually met quite a few Chinese students who have studied in Iowa, and they say great things about the place and its residents. On the other hand, I don’t see a lot of them settling down there or taking that revolutionary Iowa spirit home with them to rail against The Man. Personally, I think the students enjoy the friendly people and the cheap corn, but that’s pretty much it.

If there are any political lessons to be learned from Iowa, they probably stem from the recent Iowa Caucuses, where local Republican extremists competed with each other to be named “Heartless Bastard of the Year.” After seeing one or two Republican debates, I was beginning to wonder whether democracy was really worth it after all.

But seriously, Branstad’s statement echoes all the ridiculous chest-thumping made during the post-9/11 years about how the terrorists were against the U.S. because they were jealous of American freedoms (and Freedom Fries).

At the time, I was reminded (and I realize this dates me) of an old episode of M*A*S*H, the 70s sitcom about the Korean War. In the second season, one of the characters, after a bout of insomnia, gets it into his head that North Koreans are only fighting because they are jealous of American flush toilets. He therefore lassos a latrine to a jeep and proceeds to deliver it to the front.

Let’s hope that Governor Branstad doesn’t get any creative ideas.

© Stan for China Hearsay, 2012. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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